Published The Advocate, December 4, 2004


DRUGS are such a part of elite sport that hardly a day passes when the newspapers do not carry stories about the latest fallen heroes who took something to put an extra spring in their hop, step and jump.

So widely abused are the chemical and hormonal boosters that some wits have suggested staging the Pharmacy Games.

Pistol shooters, for whom the slightest twitch can mean hit or miss, have been known to take beta-blockers to slow their heart rates. They aim to fire between the heartbeats.

Even grandmaster chess players are tested for drugs although not, I expect, for beta-blockers. I am at a loss to know what drugs are used in chess. Caffeine, possibly, but certainly not anabolic steroids.

The Belarussian powerlifter Vladimir Buben was banned for life after testing positive for steroids at the Athens Paralympics, having previously been banned for two years for another failed test. D’oh.

Drug abuse at the Paralympics raises some intriguing possibilities. If sufferers of cerebral palsy can compete in the 100-metre sprint, what performance enhancing drug do you test for?

And, if a drug does actually improve performance, rather than banning the stuff wouldn’t you encourage all cerebral palsy sufferers to take it?

My cousins had greyhounds which they raced without success. Others took the sport more seriously and used little tricks to get the best out of their dogs.

For example, as a greyhound was being shoved into the starting box, a quick smear of hot mustard on its backside made it run like blazes, as you would.

I wonder if the Australian sprinter Matt Shirvington ever contemplated using mustard?

In 1999, Shirvington ran 10.03 seconds for the 100 metres. Everyone waited for him to become the first white man to break 10 seconds. His numberplate was SUB-10S.

It never happened. He never bettered the 10.03. In a nightmare run of illness and injury, he missed selection in the Australian team for the Athens Olympics.

Had he spent more time running instead of injuring himself, his story might have had a Chariots of Fire ending. Instead of which he carries the burden of unfulfilled destiny.

So near yet so far, he could almost be excused the temptation of taking drugs to help him crack the 10-second barrier. But he didn’t succumb. Good man.

Many other athletes have not behaved so honourably. Cycling, my favourite sport, has been tarnished forever by the corrosive effect of drugs.

The cheats must be exposed, of course, yet being stripped of a gold medal, given a life sporting ban and being made to feel public shame are not nearly enough.

Think of the second placegetter, the one who was robbed of the moment of victory, of being cheered across the line in first place and of then proudly standing on the winner’s dais hearing the national anthem.

To be handed the gold medal after the event with a sympathetic pat on the back is little consolation.

I would feel disappointed. No, I would feel murderous.