Published Messenger Newspapers, Adelaide, March 12, 2003


TIME TO QUELL THE TEMPEST


THIS is the time of the year in Adelaide when a soft breath of air gently wafts down from the Hills first thing in the morning. The airflow is not enough even to ruffle the leaves in the trees but, standing still, you can feel it riffling the tiny hairs on your cheeks, like the close sigh of a lover. On two or three special times a year, the stillness remains like that all day, as if nature were having a time out. The prospect of war is the last thing on your mind. This morning started perfectly, all calm on the early bike ride _ a sweet reward for going to bed with a clear head for a change and sleeping all night. And then it rained. A breeze arose from the southwest, a head wind that brought rain upon me before I could reach home again. Funny, huh? Happy one minute, unhappy the next. Life is like that, and it is not especially funny. The weather, in particular, seems to have mood swings. Calm one day, in a rage the next. Blame God. I was reading recently where a US psychiatrist had suggested God must suffer from manic depression _ or bipolar disorder, if you prefer _ based on the evidence all around us including the weather. One moment vengeful, the next forgiving. God's moods fluctuated wildly, said The Reverend Dr J. Henry Jurgens, who is also a doctor of divinity at Yale University. He may have a point. So much of how God runs his earthly kingdom is perplexing and contradictory: benevolence/rage; reward/punishment; love/suffering. Being so hard to follow, no wonder God has so many splitters and dissenters among his followers. Dr Jurgens recommended that God take the heavenly equivalent of Prozac. He believed that God, given his condition, was not in control of his actions nor aware of the effects they had on others. God needed our understanding and patience, not the other way around. Uh-huh. Standing under the shower trying to warm up after being drenched in the moody rain, I was not necessarily persuaded by Jurgens' case for God's manic depression. Given the level of violent disruption in the world, an even better case could be argued for him having Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. In an ADHD rage, a beautiful landscape can quickly be devastated by war. God has a lot of distractions at the present. In particular, having a preachy George W. Bush, under the guise of Christian piety, invoke your name all the time in the cause of war must be very irritating indeed. Surrounded by so much human stupidity, it must be hard for God to keep his spirits up all the time and no wonder he lashes out in frustration occasionally. Right at this time, with Iraq, the original Cradle of Civilisation, about to be turned into another killing field, God needs to give full attention to what is occurring in his name, or to increase the dosage of his sedative. Afterwards, having avoided world bedlam and restored common sense, getting the weather back under control would be an absolute doddle by comparison.