Published Messenger Newspapers, Adelaide, December 22, 2003


FLOWER POWER CHOOSES POPE


DRIVING back from the Margaret River district in Western Australia, my roving correspondent Richard B wrote to tell me he had passed a tree daubed in large white letters: DES LIVES. He said he had found it reassuring. Me too. I pass on the good news for no reason other than it is Christmas and a time for rejoicing. In the same spirit, let me add: POPE LIVES. Against the tide of time, illness and media impatience, Pope John Paul II lives on and on _ now into his 26nd year as Pontiff. Standby, though, because each year inevitably sees JPII shuffle closer to eternity. One of my little joys is to watch the media tie itself into knots predicting his imminent demise from every concentration lapse, and in choosing his successor. For you mad punters keen to have a flutter on the identity of the next Pope, I am here to tell you the fix is in. He has already been selected behind the scenes by a group of influential but virtually unknown Catholic power brokers. No, not the cardinals. Indeed, cardinals cower in fear and awe of these people. Of course the Vatican will still go through the motions of selecting a new Pope - the secluded ballots and the puff of white smoke - but in the end the cardinals will do what they are told. Even the hard men of the Vatican Curia are babes in the woods compared with this mysterious group of flint-eyed dealmakers, the real power behind the papal throne. They are the people who, though operating quietly and efficiently at the parish level, in combination operate a worldwide network of enormous clout. From the smallest parish church to the grandest cathedral, each group plots how to get its own man up as Pope. They caucus, conspire, jump to conclusions and pass judgement on other people's motives. Clerical reputations are made and lost. Between them is a shared intimacy of the inner-workings of the church. They are quick to recognise a rising star and they are just as quick to sweep up the mess left by many feet of clay. In the end they somehow divine a consensus on the Papacy and their decision is passed onto the cardinals who do their bidding, or else ... meaning the clergy would have to do their own flower arrangements. Yes, I am speaking of the band of deceptively mild-mannered women who arrange the altar flowers, remove candle wax from the carpet and dust the burning heart of Jesus statue in preparation for daily Mass. If the road to hell is paved with good intentions then the road to the Papacy is lined with women of a certain age. It should come as no surprise. Since Eve and the apple, women have always had a subversive power over men, and it is in the nature of Catholicism that the clergy will come under the influence of elderly women. Christmas is always a busy time for the ladies on the flower roster but this year, given JPII's failing health, they will be spending extra time on their knees praying for divine guidance in the matter of his successor. My mother is one of them. She has the smug look of someone who knows.