Published Messenger Newspapers, Adelaide, December 18, 2002
AFFORDABLE LUXURY IS NO OXYMORON
HERMES, Bulgari, Louis Vuitton, Rolls Royce ... now that the Christmas shopping season is all over us, let's have a little chat about luxury goods, shall we? The difference between a luxury and a necessity can depend on circumstance. For example, I have been to cesspits overseas where toilet paper would be a luxury. Or in Sydney, a reserved parking space would be considered a luxury. Any number of websites offer e-luxury at the click of a mouse. Beluga caviar, for madam, at $750 for a 125gm jar. Baccarat crystal cocktail shaker, for sir, at $1500. A $130 perfumed candle for anyone not right in the head. I have heard it argued that luxury items are morally indefensible when so much poverty exists in the world. Try telling it to the next person you see driving a Porsche. Perhaps they struggle with their consciences. Or perhaps not. They tend to excuse themselves by saying they are entitled to a flash car because they have ``earned'' it. Or ``deserved'' it, as marketers put it, trying to reduce the guilt of consumers who purchase luxury goods. Bank chief executives receive multi-million dollar salaries which they neither earn nor deserve. That's what I want for Christmas - a bank. Speaking of ill-gotten gains, a US auction website offers the seized luxury assets of criminals: sports cars, hovercraft, boats, aircraft and loads of Italian-made furniture. I am thinking of bidding for a mini-submarine. Or how about a flight on Concorde? When Concorde took to the skies, British Airways charged the normal Jumbo 1st class fare plus 25 per cent as a supersonic premium. Later on, 1st class Jumbo passengers were surveyed to see if they knew the cost of a Concorde ticket. They all guessed higher than the 25 per cent and BA then raised the fare to an average of the guesses. The point is, the price of luxury is whatever people are prepared to pay for it. A thing only has ``worth'' if someone wishes to possess it. Which reminds me: The next time the ABC News reports that the damage caused by a fire was worth so many dollars ... do spare me! Damage is not worth anything. A Rolls Royce is not worth anything to me because I do not want one. A Look road bike, now that's another matter entirely. Apart from showing off, what is the point of having the best corkscrew in the world if a cheap one costing a few bucks does the same job? It cannot make the wine taste any better. Yet there is something deeply human in our desire to possess such things even if you do not know how to use them - a sterling silver escargot holder, for example. Burial chambers from 4000 years ago contained makeup and jewellery - still luxury items today. The desire to look sexy is a human constant even among the poorest for whom a sack of grain would be more practical. If you can afford to buy anything your heart desires, it must spoil the pleasure of life's little luxuries when you are surrounded by them. Oh, yes, being rich must be so ho-hum boring. Sometimes, price alone cannot buy luxury. This Christmas I am going to indulge myself in the luxury of doing absolutely nothing.
