Published Messenger Newspapers, Adelaide, November 20, 2002


POSSUM WAR'S FINAL SOLUTION


NOW is the time of the year when the conversation around countless backyard barbies turns to the never-ending Great Possum War of Adelaide. Many neighbourhoods have been under siege for years. Possums squabble inside the roofs; ceilings develop unspeakable stains and odours; and gardens are stripped of their flowers and new growth. One particular grapevine has not borne fruit for five years because the possums keep eating the new leaf tips. At her wit's end, the householder has tried everything from trapping, to blocking every entry point in the roof, to now boiling quassia chips and spraying the liquid around to dissuade them. Quassia is said to be as bitter as bitter can be and, since Fauna Rescue says it is a natural pesticide and a poison, I will take their word for it. Herbal healers also claim quassia stimulates the appetite, promotes bile flow, expels threadworms, treats malaria and dysentery and even helps people to quit alcohol. The possums do not know what they are missing. Even more bitterly, possums have the power to divide people who would otherwise be good neighbours. One side wants the possums removed and good riddance; the other puts up feeding boxes which only encourages them. Oh, yes, tears have been shed before bedtime and, owing to the possums, not much sleep is to be had afterwards. People go to desperate lengths. A friend caught three possums in his roof, stuffed them live into a hessian bag, and took them on the bus to Cobbler's Creek, beyond Tea Tree Gully, where they were released to face certain death at the hands of other possums. On the way there, he showed some schoolkids on the bus what he had in the bag and they oohed and aahed at how cute they were. If only they knew what the nice man was doing. Another friend, a respectable company director for most of the time, told me over a barbecued chop that he had shot the possums in his backyard gum trees. He loaded a shotgun with Z-shot, fitted a silencer so the neighbours would not become alarmed, and even had a laser sight with a red spot to take aim in the dark. It seemed a bit over the top to me but certainly showed how passionate people could become with possums. Having seen a possum stand its ground against a cat, I told Gunsmoke I would back a possum against a cat any time. Maybe, he said, but not against a Rhodesian Ridgeback which he owned - a very serious possum dog indeed. Fauna Rescue has all sorts of advice on how to deal with possums such as installing a one-way flap in your roof; erecting tree boxes and feeding platforms; pruning to leave a gap between the roof and trees; putting metal collars around tree trunks; installing lights in the garden and in the ceiling; and the list goes on. None of them particularly works. The best way of handling the problem is possum ragout. Master chef Cheong Liew makes a good one at the Hilton although, let it be firmly noted, he obtains the possums from Tasmania. (www.faunarescue.org.au)